Rollins vs Amaro
by I Will Be King
Summary: It started out as a drunken mistake, she didn't mean it...the morning after. Amanda Rollins never was good at keeping herself together now it seems that her only real "work" friend is gone. Nick tried to be there but it didn't make any difference, she knew what she wanted. She knew what she said was wrong but hell be it if she was going to admit it. It's a tragically written story
1. There's no right or wrong way

Amanda arrived at the bar earlier than both she and Nick had agreed upon however it didn't even stun her, instead she began ordering drinks just as quickly as she was able to drink them. Ten-fifteen minutes later, Nick arrived at the bar, he was no longer dressed in a suit meaning that he probably went home it made her a little irratated, he was late but the drink she had just taken a swig of seemed to help her forget those feelings.

"I started without you." She said as he approached her eye sight

"Went to the gym first." That was all he said before ordering a drink.

However Nick wasn't at the gym prior, in fact the last twenty-some times that he used that excuse he wasn't at it. Most of the time, he was drowning himself in alcohol or talking himself out of calling Maria however this time was much different. This time was he was mentally yelling at himself for screwing up things with maria, he thought about his life today, seeing Paula and A.J. have these issues among one another but the only way they found to fix it was to hit her. Things were at the brink of the end between he and Maria but he didn't it her but he also didn't try to talk to her about it either. He just allowed it to happen but by the time that she was calling it quits he was finally ready to talk.

Nick wasn't in the mood, he didn't even want to talk; all he wanted to do was drink.

"You okay?" Amanda asked "That was rough."

"Well, Calhouns just doing her job."

"Yeah but she had no right to go after you like that." Amanda said taking another sip of her drink, before her next speech she scoffed at Nick "She's got a point though."

"Yeah?" He chuckled at her "Yeah, what point is that?"

"That's it's a private manner" Amanda was trying to compose herself but she looked like a barely twenty-one year old who couldn't hold her own liquor. "between Paula Martin and her husband. I just think we're over reaching."

Nick looked at her with confusion in his face, "Amanda, he hit her. End of Story." He couldn't help but stress the point of why they were. There was apart of him that shouldn't have even had to of explained this to her. She was Special Victims Detective, it wasn't her job to put her opinion out there and not to try to hid what happened.

"So, we get to decide what's best for her. That's infantilizing. That's" She scoffed once again "that's making her a victim all over again." Amanda couldn't help but let out a little chuckle at everything she was saying.

Nick looked at her, shook his head "Take it easy."

"You counting my drinks now?" That wasn't what Nick was trying to say he was trying to point it at the ridiculousness of her attitude but she was drunk and there was no saying which way she would take anything he was saying. "Saint Nick? Right? Savior of damaged women."

"Stop." He was trying to keep his composure at this point but she kept pushing him "Look, all i'm saying no man has the right ot hit a woman."

"That's right, That's right." The anger in her voice grew with each word that escaped her mouth, she was leaning in inches away from him "But some of us don't need to be saved. Okay? Like you married a woman who didn't. Right? Maria." Another laugh exited from her "I saw the way she went after you in the squad-"

"I never laid a hand on Maria."

By this time, the raising of Amanda voice was beginning to attract attention from those around the bar.

"Yeah, but you never wanted too? Not at all? She got to you." A devilishly smile appeared on her face "She still gets to you." The next thing that happened was unexpected, she pushed him, hard. Nick just quickly smiled and shook his head. It was like a small child battling their mother. "Huh, that doesn't get to you?"

"No."

She was pushing him once again, "Man come on. Like that. That wouldn't get to you."

"No."

"Really? How about that?" she spoke again followed by another push "Come on, Nick. I know it does."

"Are you jealous of Maria now? IS that what's happening now?" Those few words that he said seemed to be the only thing that snapped her back to reality.

"That's where you're going?"

However that didn't keep her sane long, she returned to pushing him. She leaned closer to him as well as pulling him by his jacket towards herself. "We've all seen you loose it. The whole squad room heard you yelling at your wife on the phone." Everything past those few sentence Nick stopped listening to, it wasn't until the last few things that she said that he wasn't able to control.

"Some of us don't want to be saved!" She said this time shoving him as hard as he could, it was by this time that he could no longer handle it.

He stood up, quickly; forcing the stool he sat on to fall behind him. He was angry, he wanted to yell at her; to tell her off. Instead of giving her what she wanted, he pointed his anger at his drink, hitting her across the room as it shattered into millions of pieces. He was done. He left the room.

Amanda watched as Nick left, scoffing at him. "There all alike. They think they can tell us what to do." She grabbed her drink took another large gulp "Boss us around just because of that thing you have in your pants!"

It wasn't long before the bartender cut off Amanda, she of course was angry at him but it didn't take her long to forget why she was mad or even who she was mad at. She did however manage to make it home where she poured herself into more alcohol that she had hidden in her home. The night ended quickly for her, one second she was dancing to the radio and the next she was passed out on the floor with alcohol on her clothes.


	2. Hiding out

Nick's eyes fluttered open however he couldn't see anything, his vision was head was pounding and he couldn't get his eyes to focus, a few seconds had passed before he realized that the television was on. He slowly began sitting up, groaning while doing so; his eyes finally began adjusting to the room. Once he was fully sitting up when he noticed that Maison was sitting in front of him, she actually had his feet behind her. She was holding a cup of what looked like coffee with her eyes on the television, she didn't quite notice that he was up until he groaned at the sunlight hitting his head.

"He's alive!" She said with a smile on her face

Maison always had a way of lightning the mood, however it didn't always seem to be at the best of moments. Nick had met Maison back when she was a rookie police officer, just barely starting out. She had the bad luck of finding her way into a crime scene that involved nearly a ton of illegal drugs, Nick's attention was brought to her when she said that "maybe she would take some to relive all this tension." It was the start of a beautiful friendship she became almost a family friend even with the age difference between the two. When Maria and he fought, he'd call her and they'd sit at a bar drinking while he bad mouthed women... in a sense, it would start out with "I can't believe Maria..' and eventually end with "I can't believe that i did that." Then she would round him up, drop him off at home where he and Maria would make up once again.

However this last time, it didn't end like that. This time when he called Maison up, it didn't end like it should have, this time he was upset not angry. He was practically crying, she swore that his glass of alcohol was actually filling up with tears. This time she was taking him to a hotel where she sat in the room with home because she was scared of what he would do. Somehow... someway Nick ended up staying in her guest room, they barely saw one another due to their schedules, he was always on a case with S.V.U. while she was out with Homicide. It had been almost six months since he moved it, although he wasn't technically moved in as boxes still sat in her living room.

"Yeah." Nick said with his hand on his head, "How long have you been awake?"

Maison held her watch to face while she took a few moments to think, "Two. Three hours. Surprised you're awake."

"Huh?"

"There's a glass of water and aspirin on the stable, behind you." Maison smiled at him as she turned down the volume to the television. She raised her drink to her mouth as nick sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. There was a moment of silence between the two as it took Nick a while to compose himself, he slowly took his tie off from around his neck but was more shocked that he didn't manage to kill himself.

'Thanks, how'd you know to leave that out?"

"You made a crap ton of noise, it sounded like you ran into everything i own No sober person makes that much noise when they are being allowed to temporarily live with a friend besides I walked out here expecting to find you covered in cuts and my floor a damn mess." Theres a sense of sarcasm in her voice while also a bit or seriousness, he wasn't quite sure what she was trying to mean by that but he couldn't even began to focus straight. it seemed that his headache/hangover was getting the best of him.

"Besides where were you last night?"

"I got a drink."

"Mm-hmm, did you get in a fight with maria again? And you didn't call me?" That last part however seemed to sound as though she was a sad little girl who was betrayed.

"No, Amanda."

Maison's squinted her eyes "What? The blonde chick?"

"Yeah."

"She was egging me on... to hit her, i think." Nick looked around the room as he spoke, confusion arose in his voice. He wasn't sure what else to say or if this was even what exactly Amanda was trying to achieve last night. She could have been just drunk but why did she attack him? There were so many men that she could have directed her anger at or even closer friends. None of it made sense to him apart of him was hoping that somehow Maison would find it for him.

"What? She wanted you to hit-" The confusion that overcame Nick seemed to be contagious as Maison succumbed to it as well.

"Yeah, i think so."

"So?"

"What? Did I? Is that what you're asking?" At this point in the conversation it was obvious that Nick was getting hostile towards her "No, I didn't. I walked away."

"Then how are you having a hangover?"

"I went to another bar."

"Oh, so you took your anger out... at a bottle of alcohol." She smiled a little at him before continuing "Or you attempted too and it came back and bit you in the ass."

"Neither of the two said anything more, they allowed the silence of the room to be a distraction around their conversation. It wasn't that they didn't have anything left to say, it was because they didn't know how to say it. Maison had only met Amanda once but she could tell she had problems... problems that ultimately would suck Nick in because he was the oversensitive-over caring guy who never took no for an answer.

It around the time that Nick had just been transferred over to the Special Victims Unit, he was a newbie... the second one to come. He was sitting at his desk across from Olivia who was nose deep inside of a case file, Fin however was nonchalantly making his way towards the desks.

"Hey, Newbie what do you say you join us for a drink?" Fin asked gathering the attention of his fellow detectives John, Olivia as well as Amanda.

Nick looked up unsure if the term Newbie was directed towards him but upon seeing everyone's attention now was faced on him, he knew he indeed was the 'Newbie.' "I-uh, appreciate the offer but i got plans with a friend tonight." Nick stuttered while talking because he still wasn't sure how what everyone was like and didn't want to step on any toes, it made even the tiniest bit of words he spoke to be overthought.

"Bring the friend."

"I don't know, i mean she's homicide." He titled his head to the side

Fin looked over at John and began chuckling, "Hey, as long as she ain't the rat squad, she's alright in my book." Fin sat on his desk whilst his attention turned the large stack of files on his desk. "Compared to this paper work, i'd rather be facing the rat squad."

Nick and Maison arrived at the bar, they ordered their drinks and headed over to the detectives. Olivia was the first to introduced herself to the young detective , shortly there after Fin and John followed. 'Where's Amanda?" Nick wondered, he thought that maybe she wasn't a invited but from what he could tell of Fin, he wouldn't openly invite someone to something and not invite witnesses. The svu detectives all played nice with the Homicide detective, swapping horror stories mostly due to Fin and Maison. It wasn't until an half hour passed that Amanda had showed up, she was in a black jacket with her hair up in a pony tail.

"Whose the junkie?" Maison asked leaning near Nick

Nick's eyes scanned the room trying to locate this junkie but the only new person that arrived was- "Amanda?"

"If i knew the blondes name, i wouldn't have called her a junkie."

Nick shook his head slightly at her with a small smirk crossing his face, "That's Amanda, a detective."

"Really, she looks like a mess."

it became a little awkward after everyone else began leaving, it dwindled down to Nick, Maison as well Amanda. Maison would have opted to leave the minute Fin did but Nick was her ride and his normal over bearing attitude would have ended with him following her home in his car. This time however the tables had turned, Amanda was openly flirting with Nick, all be it the Alcohol she ingested may have thrown her off her normal senses it was fairly obvious that he was wearing a wedding ring.

"Hey, Nick; dont' you think it's about time... you get home?" To be honest, not one single part of her was actually ready to get home she just didn't want to allow something to happen on her 'watch' so to say.

"God, what are you his mother?" Amanda remarked

Maison smiled a clear fake smile, "No, just a detective who knows how to handle her liquor."

Eventually, she managed to get Nick to agree to go home, Amanda however stayed at the bar drinking her sorrows away. "How is she a detective? She looks like she has more problems than someone who works at a low end-low income job." Nick didn't even try to respond to the remark, Amanda was his friend. More than that she was a detective, a detective that he would ultimately possible end up being partnered with he couldn't start bad mouthing her and then have her back when she needed it.

It wasn't a pleasant memory for Maison, she had a feeling about her and low and behold it had came true. "I told you something was off about that girl."

"She's not off, she just needs help."

Maison got up from the couch, shaking her head at him "Oh-Amaro, you need professional help. please dont sleep with her. Drink you damn water."

Maison disappeared down the hall, he could hear the sound of the shower starting when he finally laid back down. He checked his cell phone and saw that he had five missed calls from Olivia, instead of checking them he turned his phone off. he wasn't going to work today, not in this condition, just talking seemed to be taking a toll on him.

Amanda however awoke to the sound of her cellphone buzzing constantly around her ear, the stench of alcohol burned her nose and eyes. She rolled over to her side and saw a silhouette of a body, it hurt her eyes opening them but it hurt her head even more to think. The nights events were not being kind to her, she could vaguely remember what happen last night. Bits and pieces came back to her, a few glimpses of glasses; singing and Nick.

"Oh, god; Nick?" She said quietly, there was rasp to her voice

No response.

"Nick, are you okay?"

Still no response.

"Nick?" She fought the pounding in her head as she stood up and began making her way to the man's body. It took what felt like forever hours to reach the him. The closer and closer she got, saw him. Nick.

"Nick, what happen?"

"Whose Nick?" The man responded, groaning

"What?"

A few seconds later, Amanda stopped focusing on the pounding in her head, she looked closer at the man and saw that it wasn't at all Nick, just some random guy. A guy with a shaved head, and a tattoo on his neck. She knew something happened last night with Nick as to what happened exactly, she couldn't remember. Frantically, she searched for her phone, slowly she pressed down on the number 4 button, held it to her ear. There was no response, straight to voicemail

She tried again. Nothing.

A third time.

Still nothing.

 _He's at work, that's why he's not answering._ She stared at her phone screen and saw she had five missed calls, Liv as well as Fin. It took a while for her to get dressed meanwhile the man that was currently occupying her living room was searching in her kitchen for coffee, she assumed. There wasn't any communication between the two, there wasn't anything to say. They went about getting ready to leave separately and ignored one another completely. It took her almost an hour to get ready as she spent half the time with her face buried inside the toilet and had to make a few quick stops to resume that same position but eventually made it.

"Amanda, Where you been?" It was Fin, he was outside the building almost like he was waiting for her

"I got in late."

"Liv, put you on desk duty; i covered for you but she's not happy."

The two headed inside to the precient where she immediately began searching for Nick, "Where's Nick?" She eventually asked "Out sick." The office was lonely, empty no one was there with her. Everyone else was out on a case. Normally, Liv would have her partner stay with her but Nick was out and she was mad at her. She grabbed her phone and dialed Nick's number for a fourth time that day but still was met with the wonderfully sounding sound of his voicemail.

"Hey, Nick. It's me; i just wanted to see how you were doing. Call me back."

About an hour after she left the voicemail, she was greeted by her memories of last night slowly starting to return to her. One by one the incidents of last night began coming back. She went out for a drink with Nick, Got in a fight with Nick and got drunk off her ass. She knew why Nick wasn't answering her phone calls but she couldn't have been the reason why he didn't show up for work, could she?


	3. She's got a problem

"Are you jealous of Maria?"

* * *

She was mad. Angry. The night at the bar with Nick had all came back to her, there were parts of the conversation that she did mess up on but the things he said to her were far worse. It seems that the alcohol that she consumed not only cloudy her memory but her judgement, she was sleeping with anyone she could get into her bed. This night was no different. She was once again on the prowl, shoving alcohol in her body.

Amanda sat at a table with three empty glasses in front of her and another one on the way, her cellphone was insistently vibrating on the table causing the glass to shake. It was Fin, he was calling to check up on her, she was showing up to work late, not finishing cases.

"Don't you think you should take that easy?" A man said approaching Amanda, he was the perfect guy. The guy should would take home.

"Oh, i didn't know my dad was here."

"Snippy, aren't you?"

"I could be more."

It was constant flirting between the two, nonstop. One flirted and the other responded. It went on almost all night until Amanda had so many drinks inside of her that she couldn't even see what color eyes he had anymore. Their flirtatious evening eventually moved to outside of the bar.

"Oh, god; Maybe, i just want you." He said, Amanda was so drunk that she didn't even notice that he was calling her by the wrong name

He gripped her waist and slammed her into the wall on the side of the bar, her head hit the wall with bang while her lips hit his. He held her to the wall, while he continued his attack on her lips. Amanda moaned, running her hands up the back of the mans shirt eventually her hands moved to the top of his head where she interlocked her fingers into the strands of hair. He moved his lips down the side of her cheek, down to her throat.

"Stop." She protested, pushing him off of her

"What the hell?" Amanda chuckled at him as she started to walk away 'Hey, you get off on giving a guy a hard on and then leaving before i get some?"

"I'm not drunk enough." She stumbled back into the bar, this time finding another seat at the bar where she could be closer to the liquor

It had felt like she hadn't drank alcohol in years, the burning sensation from the mans beard still lingered as the wetness of his lips had yet to dry along her neck. Meanwhile, Nick and Maison entered the bar, her hands in her jacket pockets as Nick was beginning to take his jacket off. Maison was smiling as they continued their conversation, together they sat at the bar.

"What if dyed my hair red?" Maison asked, holding a few a grip of her hair in her hand, twirling it in Nick's face

"I-I don't know." he said chuckling at her, he didn't think he would recognize a red hair comparative to the brunette she naturally was.

"What? I can't pull off red?"

While Nick was beginning to answer, he immediately stopped when he heard Amanda's voice shout from across the room. "Hey, just give me another one." He looked around, searching for the voice and saw her. She was barely able to sit up on the bar stool, her blonde hair was smeared all over her face; she looked like a mess.

"What?" Maison asked, noticing that there was a change in his demeanor

"Amanda's here."

"Amanda? As in the girl that you work with? As well as the girl that tried to get you to hit her?"

Nick didn't say anything, instead he just gave her a small smile. "Oh, well, why don't i go say a few things to her?"

"Maise, don't." He spoke her name like as a father would to a child. He didn't want a fight to start. "We're here to drink."

"I don't get you." She shook her head a little while raising the glass of alcohol to her lips "I mean, i somewhat do but i don't. You can't be mad at a woman, I mean Amanda deserves some trash talking and here you are 'oh, let's just drink' I don't get it."

"Maison, it's not that." He glanced over at her once again, "I'm worried she has a problem"

"If it comes to women's right and abusive spouse, yeah... probably."

"No, i mean with something else."

Maison didn't bother to bring up Amanda again, it was bad enough they could hear Amanda shouting for drinks and talking to people. There was no need to continue talking about it. She knew no matter what she said or insult she could come up with Nick would defend Amanda, regardless if she really deserved it. She always had appreciated that quality in Nick and at times she had hated it. The night continued, however Nick remained distracted by Amanda, each sound she made. It wasn't until Amanda began reacting towards someone, who appeared to be bothering her that Nick really turned his attention towards her. Amanda was loudly complaining of a man who kept touching her, around the third time was when Nick began walking towards her.

"Nick." Maison pleaded at him

He arrived near Amanda who was talking to the guy in a stern voice, telling him he needed move away from her. "I think she told you to get lost."

"Nick? What the hell are you doing here?" Amanda said in a shocked voice, Maison however put her head into her hands and sighed

"Who are you?"

"She said get lost." Nick repeated towards the man

The problematic guy was much taller than Nick and looked like he spent the entire part of his life in and out of jail. His head was shaved and he was covered in tattoos, just the guy Amanda would be dumb enough to get involved with. "Nick, stop it. He's fine." She grabbed the mans hand placing it on her shoulder as she held it.

"Amanda, no he's not. you need to go."

"Nick, stop he's fine. I want him here."

"That's why you were just complaining that the guy needed to leave you alone?"

"Leave me alone. I don't need you."

Maison eventually managed to walk over towards the three and realized almost immediately she would have to be the bad guy. "If you don't calm down, Amanda, I will arrest you for disorderly conduct."

"Maison."

"No, Nick; i know you can't or won't, but she's drunk and causing a scene." Nick looked at Maison with a distraught look, apart of him knew that she was right but the other part hoped Amanda wouldn't do anything to worsen her situation. Sense he knew that Maison would take her threat seriously.

"Look, Amanda just leave. Go home."

She scoffed at Nick as she grabbed her jacket, she began moving towards the exit with anger in her eyes. Once again, Nick was proving himself as the alpha male trying to be a hero. Both Nick and Amanda followed while the guy she was with decided to stay put, it seemed a police officer became a bit of an issue. Once outside, Nick began hailing Amanda a cab while she stood holding her jacket in her arms glaring at him.

"Your cabs here, Amanda."

Amanda didn't answer instead she pushed past him with anger, Maison scoffed at her. "That's it. Amanda Rollins, you're under arrest."

Nick looked at the two women confused, "Maison, what are you doing?"

"I'm starting to think you're right, she's got a problem."


End file.
